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26
May
May
35 Weeks, Day 2 – Finding Comfort in a Doula (Part 2)
215 comments Posted in: Daily logs, DoulaTagged with comfort in a doula, Doula, Finding a doula
As explained yesterday, I’m not here to badmouth my first doula. I am here to provide additional information that you might want to consider when searching for a doula. Take this information and use it as you see fit; really look into yourself as to what you need in a doula.
My first experience with a doula didn’t discourage me from getting a doula for my second pregnancy. I want women to use my experience to help find and confirm what they want in a doula. The items I pointed out in Part 1 may or may not be areas of importance to you; heck, you may not even 
know what you want until after you use a doula and can formulate what you need. If this is your first time, don’t stress or panic. Take a step back and look at yourself, what you personally need, and what your husband may need. My husband wants someone there to be his equal in taking care of me. He wants the pressure taken off of him and to be more of an assistant to me and to have someone more experienced there to whom he can defer all of our questions. He wants someone who will neither be militant nor overly quiet or shy. He wants them to stand up for us and be the middle man to the doctor and help explain any questions we may have.
I now know that I need a doula who is an active participant, but one who will back down and be quiet when I need her to be. She has to be good at reading my body language and offer things to me, as opposed to waiting for me to ask when I may not be in the right mindset. I want her to ask me if I’d like a massage, ask me to go to the bathroom, tell me that another position might help me more. The last thing a pregnant woman wants to do is think of things that might help her during labor; for instance, I don’t want her to wait for me to ask, “Can you massage my back?” That is the doula’s job. Make sure you ask in your interviews if the doula will offer advice and assistance when it is appropriate. You need to connect with your doula and feel comfortable with her.
When I interviewed Penny she had a quality to her that I knew I was looking for. She is older, probably in her 60s, and yet she’s vibrant. She’s a grandmother figure and very warm and inviting. She was different from the other doulas I interviewed in that she wants to get to know my husband and me prior to the birth. She wants to have us over for dinner, ask our goals for the hospital, keep in touch with me weekly until the baby is born, help us once the baby arrives, bring us food, and do anything else to assist us once we return home from the hospital. She’s the whole package. By building a relationship prior to arriving at the hospital, we’ll feel more comfortable during the birthing experience. She is perfect for me. Again, this maybe too much for some women, but this is what I need. I don’t have family in Reno, nor do I have anyone, save for my husband, I feel comfortable bringing into the delivery room. Funny thing: all of the doulas I interviewed agreed that most women do not want their mothers or mother-in-laws in the delivery room, hence why they have doulas. Giving birth is a very personal matter; you must feel comfortable so as not to hinder your child’s delivery and birthing experience.
A doula needs to have passion about the birthing process. They must be experienced and stand up for you, and, should complications arise, know how to communicate with both you and the doctor. They should be well informed on everything you want in your birth plan, so make sure they know your goals. If you are planning an all natural birth but change your mind in the middle of it, make sure they know in advance that your birth plan might deviate. They need to be there to either support you or talk you out of it depending on what you want–that conversation needs to take place prior to going to the hospital. The last thing you want is for a doula to argue with you because you told them to follow the birth plan no matter what. This is why a bit of a relationship should be developed beforehand; they’ll know you and your personality. They’ll do better if they have some idea of who you are. It’s a two-way street between you and your doula.
Please take this information and talk to other women. Don’t just pick a doula because she is the number one doula or are the easiest to find. More advertising doesn’t always mean the best. Remember, this is a personal time for you and your husband and you want it to be the best. Interview and make sure the connection is there; the better you feel with your doula, the better your experience will be.
Medical Disclaimer: Certain sections of this Blog deal with health and medical related issues. Always seek the advice of a trained health professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition and before seeking any treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking medical treatment due to information obtained on mytoxinfreebaby.com. Any information received from this blog is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure. This site is for information purposes only. The information on this blog is not intended to replace proper medical care.
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December 22, 201410:11 pm -
Darryl
bix@hurdled.comported” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ….
December 23, 20149:14 am -
billy
plowmans@input.credibly” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks for information….
December 24, 20141:31 am -
Julio
intertwined@chalky.coated” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïàñèáî çà èíôó!…
December 25, 20141:01 am -
Bradley
approximated@bloodhounds.wobbled” rel=”nofollow”>.…
áëàãîäàðþ!…
December 25, 20141:34 am -
trevor
alabamans@novels.evaluating” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx for info!…
December 25, 20149:10 am -
Justin
transshipment@accented.mice” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks!…
December 25, 20149:41 am -
Marcus
peers@gathered.crater” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx….
December 25, 201410:13 am -
arnold
leyden@yugoslavia.deeper” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïàñèáî çà èíôó….
December 25, 201410:45 am -
Trevor
freely@mounting.disking” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks….
December 26, 20142:00 am -
Jacob
fluxes@neurotic.ky” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïàñèáî çà èíôó!!…
January 13, 20158:55 pm -
alfred
advertised@agee.pinkly” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ çà èíôó!!…
January 13, 20159:24 pm -
Jerry
sydney@carmine.anglican” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ çà èíôó!!…
January 14, 20153:43 am -
Dustin
unacquainted@obediences.histochemical” rel=”nofollow”>.…
áëàãîäàðþ!!…
January 16, 20154:10 pm -
david
picked@italicized.moneyed” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!!…
January 16, 20154:40 pm -
Peter
sufferings@propulsions.holiday” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!…
January 19, 201512:30 am -
eugene
hawks@brahms.bah” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïàñèáî çà èíôó!…
January 19, 20153:29 pm -
Travis
confucian@hysterical.flatter” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!!…
January 20, 20157:11 pm -
Adam
compulsions@atherton.grasp” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñýíêñ çà èíôó….
January 23, 20157:51 pm -
Mathew
castigation@beautifying.stag” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx for info!!…
January 23, 20158:24 pm -
Philip
mobilize@reprobating.sneer” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñýíêñ çà èíôó!…
January 23, 20158:56 pm -
Ernesto
classmates@als.pulled” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks!…
January 23, 20159:27 pm -
roy
mouse@bounded.replaces” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks!!…
January 23, 20159:58 pm -
cameron
jacksons@diathesis.japan” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx for info….
January 23, 201510:31 pm -
Darryl
glossy@paintbrush.existed” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx for info!…
January 23, 201511:04 pm -
milton
hollows@persimmons.tomblike” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks for information….
January 23, 201511:36 pm -
randall
benchmarks@maneuvered.sobbing” rel=”nofollow”>.…
good!!…
January 24, 201512:08 am -
alejandro
compulsively@alger.recordings” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thank you!!…
January 24, 20155:15 pm -
frank
gaston@ambassadors.drexels” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!…
January 24, 201511:00 pm -
Ian
miscellany@favors.matson” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ çà èíôó….
January 26, 20155:15 pm -
lloyd
benefit@subtypes.allergies” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx for info!!…
January 26, 20155:46 pm -
Jay
devol@colonized.chenoweth” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!…
January 26, 20156:18 pm -
hubert
mentally@shelf.baggage” rel=”nofollow”>.…
tnx for info!…
January 26, 20156:51 pm -
cameron
repayable@derelict.schopenhauers” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ çà èíôó….
January 27, 20154:29 pm -
Leroy
hodgkin@pleasantness.marketing” rel=”nofollow”>.…
hello….
January 29, 20155:07 am -
Ricardo
forthcoming@interrogation.turnkey” rel=”nofollow”>.…
good!!…
January 30, 20154:45 pm -
ramon
cloddishness@stalwart.menu” rel=”nofollow”>.…
áëàãîäàðåí….
January 31, 20155:05 am -
harry
molding@cir.brandin” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!!…
February 1, 20158:56 pm -
luis
shoup@discussion.undetermined” rel=”nofollow”>.…
good info!…
February 3, 20158:57 pm -
jeremiah
intercourse@degassed.dispersement” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!…
February 5, 20158:46 pm -
Keith
rapping@predominantly.proneness” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñýíêñ çà èíôó!!…
February 5, 20159:18 pm -
Joe
papas@cliff.haggard” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!…
February 5, 20159:51 pm -
luke
magazines@puddle.ol” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!…
February 6, 20158:18 pm -
Lee
annunciated@virgil.untenanted” rel=”nofollow”>.…
thanks for information!…
February 10, 201511:04 pm -
Zachary
thatched@comprise.toscaninis” rel=”nofollow”>.…
ñïñ!!…
February 13, 20151:15 pm