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The pregnancy is going great. I’m tired but that is to be expected. That is the only sign I have of being pregnant. How lucky am I???

In light of the pregnancy, I went and bought my 17-month-old son, my little man, a baby doll and a stroller. When I was pregnant with him I had read a wonderful article in a magazine about a father who was against the idea of buying a doll for his son. The article was written by that same father and it spoke of his fears and issues with the idea of boys having baby dolls. His wife finally convinced him to let their son have a doll and his views of boys and dolls changed over night. Having a doll did not change his son for the worse. It made him more nurturing and loving to his doll and to other children. His view of boys having dolls changed so much so that he couldn’t wait to buy a doll for his next son. I would love to reference this article but I can’t find the magazine. :(

This article impressed upon me the importance of helping little boys find their nurturing and loving side. We want men to be sensitive and loving. We love to see men who instantly are drawn to cradling a baby or know how to tend to a boo-boo. But for some reason we don’t want to see them with a baby doll as a child. We have been trained to teach girls to be loving and nurturing and for boys to be tough and not to cry. I saw this firsthand when my little man was born. My stepson, who was 10 when my son was born, had no idea how to handle a newborn. He was scared, awkward, and didn’t have any natural instinct of what to do with a baby. On the other hand, my husband’s cousin’s little girl, who was 8 at the time, was instantly motherly, nurturing, knew how to hold a baby, wanted to feed the baby, and had no fear of trying to pick up the baby and support the neck. It was night and day to me. Now this little girl had not been around a ton of little babies. She loved to play with dolls as a toddler and loved being around children. My stepson is the exact opposite. When I came into the picture, he was 3-years-old and to my recollection never had a baby doll. He had been around some children and babies but was never very nurturing toward them. I never saw this coming. We had prepped my stepson and I thought that he would have been more at ease. Of course we assumed some of the possible jealously issues and adjusting to another person in the house but I didn’t foresee his lost and bewildered face when it came time to just hold the baby. At that moment, I knew I would better prepare my son for something that comes so natural to girls. Something that we, for some reason, withhold from boys but love to see in them as adults. So, I bought my 17-month-old little boy a baby doll.

It was rather difficult to find a baby doll that wasn’t completely girly. I only saw one boy baby doll out of about 20 or so different dolls at Toys”R”Us. My son didn’t exactly know why mommy was spending so much time in the dolly section but when we got home and I opened the package, I saw him lovingly reach out and take the baby doll and pull it to his chest in a hug and give the baby a kiss. It was the sweetest thing I could have ever imagined. With his instant reaction, so honest and untainted, it made me realize that this is something we all possess. How sad is it to realize how many men would act differently if they had been allowed to act upon this basic human emotion as a child. What I saw wasn’t taught. It was natural. A natural emotion that we must encourage in little boys. How can it be wrong to encourage a little boy to love and to be sensitive to another human being? We do the same for girls. It is about time we help our sons do the same.

I’m very lucky to have a supporting husband. I told him today that I wanted to go and buy a doll for our son. He laughed and said okay. I knew he had some reservations but he said nothing. He too read the article I referred to earlier and knew that this would be a good thing for our son, but our generation of men are not going to just come out and say, “Sure honey, I can’t wait to see the baby doll you pick out for our son.” So, after I got the baby out of its package and then set up the stroller I took our little man upstairs to see daddy in the studio. Upon seeing our son with his baby doll and how lovingly he¬†pushed the baby around in its stroller and then proudly brought the baby in to see daddy, holding up the doll to have daddy give it a kiss, my husband’s smile was never brighter. Then he witnessed our son hug the baby gently, kiss it, and then carefully put the baby back into its stroller. I could see how proud he was of our son in his eyes. Proud over seeing his 17-month-old care for a doll. Knowing that one day that caring will be directed toward our new baby. That sweet kissing and desire to be gentle and loving will be a natural emotion he can share with his new sibling.

Here are some links to articles or blogs discussing the same:
http://www.examiner.com/x-23801-Gainesville-Child-Care-Examiner~y2009m9d18-Boys-and-dolls-encouraging-nurturing-play

http://natural-kids.blogspot.com/2008/08/waldorf-wednesday-is-back-or-why-boys.html

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Continuing the Discussion

  1. 36 Weeks 2 days – Prepping toddlers for a new babyLove – My Journey to being healthy, pregnant and toxin free.

    [...] a doll and show your child how to care for the baby. From holding to bathing to feeding, help your child [...]

    June 2, 20102:09 am
  2. jeremiah

    ambiguous@relish.inspirational” rel=”nofollow”>.…

    good!!…

    July 27, 201410:44 am

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