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This is where my theory begins. I am not a doctor nor do I claim to be the smartest person out there. Take my following opinion as just that. An opinion. This entire blog is all based on my opinions and this post is no different. I have no medical studies to back up my theory. Take with you what you will. You are the only one responsible for what you choose to do in your specific circumstance.

I believe that the younger the toddler is, the more likely for them to be affected by the pheromones that a mother produces while pregnant and if ignored or suppressed can cause emotional damage later on in life. I’ve already found research to support the fact that a husband’s hormones and chemicals are affected when his wife becomes pregnant and last roughly a month after the baby is born. I’ve found articles supporting the fact that dogs and cats can sense your pheromones and can react differently to you. However, I could not find one article or study on toddlers or children and how they respond to pheromones. I then asked my OBGYN yesterday about this and he was shocked to hear what I was asking and agreed that he doesn’t even know if any studies on toddlers and pheromones have ever been conducted. He did state that the toddler will sense the change with pregnancy and can be affected. He further stated that insecurity can follow and that there is nothing wrong in comforting your child as they fall asleep as a child that is 22 months old is still young and will probably grow out of it. The main thing is for me to not ignore his feelings and what he is experiencing with the new baby coming.

I believe that a child, more so a toddler, can be affected by the same pheromones as the husband and can react accordingly. With my son, I now believe that almost 2 months ago, when I was about 5 months pregnant, he was affected by the change of my husband being absent at night and not being part of his bedtime routine. This brought on a sense of abandonment and/or insecurity while also triggering a response to my pheromones and tuning him into those chemical changes, which led him to become more clingy and needy to me. I believe his senses were heightened do to this shift in his routine and it opened up his mental awareness to the baby for the first time as well as his need for more oxytocin to feel safe. As I am producing a little bit more of that hormone now than normal he clung to that chemical and therefore needs me to be by his side and touching him in some manner to sooth him prior to falling asleep to feel safe. This goes hand in hand with my babysitter and his grandma. Both have seen this change in him and have noted that he needs them in the room rocking him or holding his hand to help him fall asleep. Even though neither of them is pregnant they both are still able to help him produce oxytocin as they are interacting with him by holding him or touching him as he falls asleep and both are females. As noted in yesterday’s blog oxytocin is released during physical touch and produces a sense of comfort and feelings of being loved in humans. I believe this is an insecurity he is feeling with daddy all of a sudden being gone and a new baby on the way. To have human touch as he falls asleep helps compensate for his sense of what he is perceiving as a loss or void.

Furthermore, I believe that as a toddler I experienced a similar problem that I have never been able to fully understand until now. My mother got pregnant with my sister when I was between 7-8 months old. My sister was born when I was about 17-18 months old. My sister and I have a great bond and there are plenty of pictures of me holding her as a baby, which would explain why I do have a great bond with her as noted in yesterday’s blog regarding newborns and pheromones. While my bond is strong with my sister it is not with my mother or father. Nor am I a big hugger, I don’t like a lot of physical contact from others and I tend to shut people out as soon as I feel hurt or taken advantage of. This was a problem when I was little as my mother has told me that I would fuss, scream and throw a temper tantrum when anyone tried to pick me up, hug me or kiss me, all as a toddler and more so after my sister was born. This continued on and in my early twenties I had to force myself to hug my friends as that was the socially accepted thing to do. I then had to do the same for family members, however to this day, I still have a huge problem hugging my parents. It doesn’t feel right or natural. The bond isn’t there. The same holds true with my sister and my next closest brother (I have two younger siblings that don’t have any issues with this). I have a very difficult time with people in general that I feel are negative, unfair, arrogant and bullying. I can sense this in people much sooner than my husband can and I tend to pull away from these people while he thinks I’m over reacting. However, every time this occurs, I am right in my feelings. Those kind of people tend to flake on us, turn their backs on us, use us, trick us and take advantage of us.

In researching the problem with my son it made me start to wonder what could have happened to make me so distant from people and how hard it is for me to bond to others besides my husband, son and people I feel I can trust? Is there a link to what is happening to my son and what possibly happened to me at the same age over 36 years ago?

To be continued tomorrow…

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  1. Leslie

    diodati@ultimate.tanner” rel=”nofollow”>.…

    áëàãîäàðñòâóþ!…

    July 27, 20145:02 pm

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